Dear Shiddy,
Bear with me as I try to explain, but right now I'm all about living the trajectory from impossible to intimate. According to Lance Brunner, it's about taking the things you want to do (but are less likely to do) and creating a space for them to become so familiar and rote that it becomes a seamless part of your life. In the way you might make a habit of running or knitting or knotting your tie. Since my experience at ALIA this past June, I've been hoping to recapture an intimacy and connectedness with community that extends beyond my family and circle of friends.
Last weekend my husband and I attended a weekend course on Shambhala meditation - a form of secular Buddhist practice. Our experience was just as our great instructor had predicted: frustrating, boring, difficult. Wow, you say. Sign me up! Yeah, well it was a distinct challenge to set aside thoughts of work, parenting and side projects to sit cross-legged for eight hours with your eyes open staring at an orange wall.
I won't fib and say I was suddenly enlightened, or that I solved a major dilemma while sitting in silence. But there was a certain calm that came about after my monkey brain settled down. A calm I typically only experience in the three minutes I have to myself in the shower each morning before my daughter rips back the curtain and announces she's pooped in my office.
